Bringing In The New Year {Part Two}

So now that I have shared with you
the secret that I've been keeping
for a few weeks, I will share with you
when it all came about and how I'm feeling.

It was a Sunday morning
and I woke up, and it hit me.....
Uhhhh, when was the last time Aunt Flow
came to visit me? I mean, EVERY 30
days, like clockwork that grouchy hag
invades my life for a whole week.

But....

Not this month.

So, being the obsessive

"must know everything NOW"

gal that I am, I bought a $1 dollar tree

test, positive.

Bought a box of EPT with 3 tests, took all

three, positive as well.

I cried. I cried more than I have in a while.

I then imagined myself juggling a four year old

and an infant, how hard it's going to be to be

up all night and have to go to work...

How expensive it will be...

How exhausted I will be...

How stressed I will be...

How tired I will be...wait...I already said that.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared of how hard this pregnancy

will be, because so far, it's nothing like the last.

I've spent many mornings,

and even some nights hunched over the toilet,

when I never got sick once with Parker.

So, while I feel so bad, I'm scared people

will think I'm weak, that I'm not trying hard

enough, that I should just suck it up.

But I have a dream.

A dream of a house full of kiddos arguing,

and wrestling, and hugging and cuddling.

I dream of hectic weekday mornings dropping

kids off at their daily destinations.

I dream of crazy Saturdays running around between

soccer games, and baseball tournaments.

I dream of a full house, with bunk beds and toy chests

and more bicycles than we have room for.

I dream of growing old,

and waking up on Christmas to a house jam packed

with grandkids, and locking eyes with Jeremy across

the room and smiling, knowing exactly what each

others thinking. That it was all totally worth it.

Now that I have shared the news with everyone,

family, friends and of course FACEBOOK,

I can now JUMP for joy.

Here's to preparing for

No Sleep

Chubby Cheeks

Pudgy toes

Fit in the palm of your hand newborn diapers

Fuzzy Hair

Blow Outs

Puffy Lips

Feetsie PJs

And a reason to be better...

in the next several months.