Bringing In The New Year.

My New Years Resolution

is to have a more positive

outlook on life.

{Speaking of positive.........}

In 2012....

Parker will be a big brother. :)

Happy New Year!!!

Dear FOUR year old Parker (Part 2)

Well it is 1o o'clock on the dot,
and you and I are piled up in my bed
because you wanted to watch a movie in my room
{it's your favorite thing to do},
but as usual, you turn right over, snuggle up under

the covers and konk out.
I would normally pick you up and carry you to bed,
struggling to walk without falling forward, with you
in my arms, but right now I think I'm just going to
lay here with you and look at you....soak it all in.

I can't get over the way your little body now hangs
off of my legs when you are sitting in my lap...
The way your once pudgy fingers have thinned out
and are almost as big as my whole hand.

I lay here and brush the hair off of your forehead,
run my hand across your soft tummy, and gawk over
your massive eyelashes and I can't help but to giggle
as I notice that you are all snuggled up with the
power ranger sword I got you today.

Does it make me a bad mom that I talked you
into going somewhere other than McDonalds
for your birthday???.......

Surely not! Because Ricatonis is SO much better.

Although we kept it low key today, with a handful
of small gifts, your super duper four year old
bash is this Saturday and I don't know who is more
excited...you or me?

I hope you had an FANTASTIC FOURTH birthday!

Dear FOUR year old Parker :(

Today is the day.

You are officially FOUR years old,

officially almost as tall as me,

and both of those facts officially breaks my heart.

So I think it's time you slow it down a bit, mmk?

These four years have absolutely flown by my little man.

You have tested me, and taught me more about myself

and my purpose in life than I ever thought possible.

You talk NON-stop...

which leads me to look back two years ago when the only

words you ever said were most certainly another

language or if any language at all for that matter.

But then, it all came at once, and you started to talk

and I sighed....a sigh of relief.

I turn to mush on the inside when you crawl up in my

lap and we quote one of your favorite movies Tangled:

Me-"I love you Parker"

You-"I love you more"

Me-"I love you most"

Your head lay on my chest and your legs and feet hang

off of my legs which makes me sad because you once were

no bigger than my arm.

I like to sneak-a-peak every now and then and laugh

at your bed headwhen you are sleeping peacefully and

as I watch you, I imagine the boy that you will become.

I imagine you bringing home your homemade mothers

day cards and macaroni necklaces. I imagine you learning

to ride a bike and swinging a golf club like tiger woods.

I imagine saying NO on school nights, and baseball games.

I imagine you coming home from school with your first broken

heart. I imagine homecoming dances, prom, and then college visits.

And while I know things might not just turn out just as I imagine, I do

know that I want the life for you that YOU imagine.

That would make me the happiest mama in the world.

I already see the beginnings of qualities in you that make

me so proud. I try to remember the things that drive me

CRAZY at times, are likely to develope into some of your

strongest, most positive characteristics.

Today for your birthday, I am at work which kills me,

but you are spending the day with your daddy and then tonight,

JJ, Nonna, Pawpaw, Aunt Courtney and Myself & whoever

else wants to go are taking you to eat.

Last night I asked you where you wanted to go eat for

your birthday and you replied, "Uuummm..McDonalds."

Although I was thinking along the lines of OUTBACK or

something, it is YOUR birthday so if you want to go to

McDonalds..........McDonalds it is!

Happy Birthday Little Man.

STOP GROWING!

I love you to infinity and beyond!

--Mama

Newness.

WHOA.

It has literally been two months

since I've been on this thing.

It hasn't even crossed my mind.

At all.

Miss me much?

I thought so. :)

While there is so much that has

happened in the past two months,

{the last time I blogged}

there is a LOT that has happened

in the past SIX months, that I have

failed to mention.

1.) Jeremy, myself and Parker moved from

an apartment into a house.

{whew!}

The day we signed the papers on

our house, I was so excited!

But while I was excited THAT day,

I knew once I got all of the pictures

off the walls, everything was packed up,

and that little apartment was empty, that

I'd get all mushy gushy about leaving behind

the place where we, together as a little family

called "home". Our first home.

.....and as annoying as the stomping above our

heads in the wee hours of the night was, and

as LOUD as our crazy neighbors were,

That apartment kind of marked our beginning,

and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Now that we are in our house, I couldn't be more

happy with our decision to move. We have fabulous

neighbors, a front yard AND a back yard, THREE dogs

and of course peaceful sleeping.

{Four things we DIDN'T have at the apartment}

2.) Jeremy luckily landed a job at Comcast full time

and loves it. I love it too, because when the cable goes

out due to a storm, all he's got to do is call up

his buddy on maintence and he comes right out

and fixes it, pronto!

Which leads to a happy Parker

because for SOME reason everytime

it storms, he starts to sob, asking to turn

the TV over to the Weather Channel.

...and he pretends to understand what

all of the green...whatever...floating across

the screen is.

I believe he will be a meteorologist, since

his attentiveness to the weather is insane.

I am extremely glad Jeremy found a job that

does not require travel.

Just call him Jeremy The Cable Guy...... :) :)

3.) I, being EXTREMELY lucky for like the first

time ever, also landed a full time job. Working at

a lawfirm, for FOUR lawyers. I love love love my

job. Words cannot describe how much I love it!

In fact, I love it so much I took pictures!

Fancy Shmancy huh....ha!

My desk.

copy room.

Filing room.

Files that need to be filed but are not because I'm working on this...

eek!!

Heres to new adventures and change! :)

....

it's almost friday. yipeee!

I'm THAT mom. :)

Turns out, I'm THAT mom.

You know, the one who before

she was a mom, had a list a mile

long of all the things she SWORE

she would never do with her own

baby.

The one who, before becoming a mom,

silently judged other moms, as I passed

them by in Walmart or wherever,while

their child lays on the floor, flailing about

and screaming because they don't want

to get back in the buggy, or they want a toy.

{I remember looks on all of the moms faces all too well}

Some moms frantic, and anxious to do anything

in their power to get their baby to just BE QUIET.

Quivering in their voices as they played both

sides of the conversation between themselves

and their baby:

Do you want sippy cup?--no

Elmo?--no

Blankie?--no

Passy?--no

Do you just want to embarrass me in a store full of watchful eyes?

--YES.

Other moms are unfazed.

They simply go about with their

shopping as if their child wasn't making a complete spectacle of himself.

Almost as if they are denying ownership of the monster on the floor.

Nearly seeing the thoughts of the moms,

{by the look on their faces}

maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away.

Flash foward 3 years,

as I juggle my own child,

it is only on occasion that I have

to receive my punishment for passing judgement.

So since becoming a mom,

I have been both of the moms described above

atleast once, especially when Parker was in his

younger "terrible two" stage.

And I can tell you,

that neither of the above methods worked with

quieting him.

Then I went through a phase where when

he did act like that, I'd snatch him up from the

ground, leaving behind whatever was in my buggy,

and go home, where he could be a monster...

without the judgement of others.

And I added that experience to the list:

the list of the type of mom, I swore I would never be, with a child who does things I swore no child of mine would ever do.

And in case you were wondering, that list goes on,

such as:

Wear light up shoes.

Over eat candy.

Make my living room a play yard.

Go out in public barefooted.

And more shining moments.

After three years, as an official mom,

I realize that I am THAT mom,

the one who will tell you that

even on the worst days...................

it's all SO totally worth it.

Hello Summer. :)

Hello Summer.

Hello days under the blazing hot sun - and marshmellow fluff clouds.

Hello sun-kissed cheeks filled with fresh freckles.

Hello grassy shoe-less toddler toes.


Hello firefly, frog and other summer creature searching.

Hello to not your everyday seen summer creature chilling in your front yard.

Hello dirty body - hair to toe.

Hello to a fellow who prefers to sit on the side with his feet in the pool instead of swimming...

until he finally gets in...and then it's impossble to get him out.


Hello crazy lake mansions that I love to gawk at (and imagine I live in)

and hello to all of the summer nights spent with people that mean the most.

64 Days Until Fall.

if i counted right.. :)

Listographyyyy!!!!

It's been a while since I've done my little

"Listography" thing.

Well....it's really been a while since I've
posted anything, due to my hectic schedule:

Working.
Mom/wife (kinda) duties.
Laziness.

So this weeks "Listography" topic is

Drum Roll Please.

INVENTIONS!!!

Inventions that would make my life easier.

1. A Me-Duplicator.
The only time the doctor can see me is the same exact time I have to work?! No problem, set the Me-Duplicator to 1 and create one temporary me to do the unpleasant task. Friends arriving in 15 minutes, the house is a wreck, create five Me's and wah lah. Five Me's make quick work of the house while I relax. Perfect.

2. A pause button.
One push of the pause button and everyone freezes in time, but me. I also reserve the right to tag any individuals I want to unfreeze in the rare instance that I don't want just to be left alone. Would use this to cheat on game shows. Yep.

3. Post it notes.
Wait. These have already been invented. But I would like them to be uninvented so that I can invent them and make gajillions of dollars. I'd also like the Twilight Saga to be unwritten so that I can write it. Oh, heck, throw in Microsoft and we'll call it a day.

:)

what would you invent to make YOUR life easier?

My Deepest Fears.

When LIFE is going peachy for me I tend to do two things:

1. worry.

2. feel guilty.

I think to myself,

Wow, this is pretty awesome! Do I deserve this? Did I earn this? Is this a blessing to give me strength for a hardship to come? How long will this GOODNESS last?

Me admitting this does not make me proud.

It's been a flaw of mine for as far back as I can remember.

Take for example, the love I have for Jeremy--who I am so totally certain is my soul mate, and YES I believe in that mushy..cheesy stuff.

With that love comes fear.

The fear that this is too good to be true, that surely this will be taken from me.

And every single day I fear a world where he is not by my side. A world where he isn't hogging the whole entire bed, or wrestling with Parker in the living room. A world without the smell of HIM and the feeling I get in my stomache every single time he walks through the door.

I had these same feelings the moment Parker was born. I can remember my panic when the nurses took Parker away--even if it was just taking him back to be bathed--it was just a taste of the pain that would consume me every time I felt helpless as a mommy.

I remember the OH so many crying spells I had after bringing him home from the hospital. I worried. Worried he would get sick. Worried he would stop breathing while sleeping, so worred that I would lay my hand on his chest until I felt movement. Worried someone may drop him. Worried about every little thing. But most of all, I worried that I couldn't live in a world without him. I had NO idea how deep the love for him would be, and it brought me to tears for weeks. I loved him so much it hurt.

And then there's my mom. My best friend. My rock. I can't imagine not calling her a million times a day, even if it's just to see what she had for lunch.

These are my fears.

My deepest fears.

Losing the ones I love most.

I don't talk about it with them, because, I mean, really how do you have that conversation. But I'm pretty sure each of them get me well enough to know.

Of course, I also embrace and soak in the good times.

Taking mental and literal pictures of every *shining* moment along the way.

I try to memorize the way these moments smell, the way they taste, the way the smile feels on my cheeks when a moment touches my heart.

Once I captur those memories, I put them in a safe place and hold onto them in case they are needed for strength and comfort in the future.

Dear 3 Year, 7 Month Old Parker.

Dear NEARLY 4 year old Parker Lee:

I've watched you grow from my sweet little baby

...into my sweet little BOY

You like to do big boy things now.

And like all big boys do, you have a mind of your own.

Case in point:

You don't like food--unless its covered with sugar or chocolate syrup. I remember the first time you ate ALL of your meal I fixed you, I cried tears of joy...and that is no joke.

In fact, I cry at all of your "little moments". I remember walking in on you doing a puzzle all on your own and I shed some proud mama tears.

You're hair, too, has a mind of its own. It seems as if it is getting thicker and thicker. The only way to tame it is by soaking it and coming it over. Until it dries, you kind of look like Donald Trump, but its okay because I think you're handsome no matter what.

You have selective hearing. For example, "clean your room" means absolutely nothing to you, but "lets go to get Miami ice" has you at the door, shoes on the wrong feet ready to go.

You have a remarkable sense of balance, as is evident when you shimmy UP the slide at the park, and run across the hardwood floor in socks. It would be safe to say that you make my heart stop about 15 times a day--not good.

Sometimes when we go to the park, I just take a step back and I watch you...like really get a good look at you and I try to get into that big ole head of yours and see the world through your eyes. And in these moments, I admire your fascination with all of the little things this world has to offer--all the things that you are witnessing for the first time. And its like I am seeing the world for the first time all over again.

I get giddy when I see your wheels begin to turn as you learn something new and you are always so eager to learn new things, for example {tieing your shoes}.

You do things in your own way, and on your own time, and I am learning to be okay with it.

In 3 and a half short years, you have changed my world,

and I am so proud of the little boy you are becoming!

"I love you to infinity and beyond!!"

--MoMmY

Listography #1 - Bad Combinations.

I'm starting this new thing.

Once a week.

Called "Listography".

{Saw it in a magazine}

Basically, once a week, I'm going

to name a topic such as this weeks

"Bad Combinations"

and I'm going to list in my opinion

my top FIVE bad combinations.

Get it?

All of you that have blogger should do it too!

K. So, my top 5 BAD COMBINATIONS.

1. Child with a cold/the shoulder of my shirt

--is there anything worse than having your childs slug trails of snot all over your clothes?!?!!

2. Peanutbutter/bread/bacon

--When Parker is asked what he wants to eat, his response is "PeanuhButter and Bakin Sanwish"......ew?!

3.Car windows down/hair/lipgloss

--theres nothing better when you're trying to enjoy the summer breeze by riding in the car with your windows rolled down, while wearing lipgloss and your hair getting stuck in the lipgloss....not...

4. Old people/Cars.

--& I KNOW for a fact that you, right now, are agreeing with me. Old people and cars....absolutely do not mix. I've always thought this. I wrote a persuasive essay in the 5th grade about how old people should be made to re-take the driving test.

5. Popcorn/Cleavage.

--Never fails. Everytime I eat popcorn with a low cut shirt on it gets in my bra, and it makes me itch.

What are YOUR top five bad combinations? :)

Guilt.

Mommy Guilt.
Lets talk about that for a minute, mmkay?

Like how I seriously despise going to the park.
But for some reason, admitting this fact gives me guilt.
As if admittance to my lack of excitement to get dirt
in my shoes, get stuck in the tube slide, and experience
sweat drip down my back makes me a bad mom.

And then there's the other kind of guilt
The guilt I feel when I'm having a bad day.
Like last Saturday.

Last Saturday Parker misbehaved in more ways
than I can count. And not even just last Saturday.
More like the last two weeks.

What is it Ms Glenda said the other day...
{Jeremy's step-dads mom}
"...terrible 2's, awful 3's, fearless 4's...."

Well, the words terrible-awful-and fearless,
HAHA.
They don't even begin to cover his behavior lately.
Especially last Saturday.

{food that was fixed for him was mutilated}
{his bed suddenly became a trampoline}
{furnature became a jungle gym}
{toys were thrown across the room}
{and peircing shrieks were heard by the entire apartment complex}


But I tried to stay positive,
because that's my new goal as a mommy.
To brush off the things that dont matter.
To remind myself that this too shall pass.
To focus on his milestones, rather than his meltdowns.

I decided I was going to devote more of my energy,
because maybe, just maybe he needs a little more
of Mommy-Parker time.

So I smiled, and brushed off his wild behavior,
and we played...

But then it was time for me to devote what little energy
I had left to myself, to get ready because we had plans
that night.

As I am sitting in my bedroom floor in front of the mirror
doing my hair/makeup, he then did something so terrible,
so horrible, so unforgivable {if he weren't my pride and joy},
that I could no longer hold a smile on my face.

He said a really, really, really UGLY word.

I dropped my hair straightener, leaving it to burn the carpet,
came in the living room where he was sitting in the floor
frustrated with a toy he had been playing with.

He looks up at me, as I stand in what I call my mad momma stance,
hands on hips, and eyebrows raised. He knew exactly
what he had done.

He broke me.
And I snapped.

PARKER, WHAT did you just say?!?!?!!!

I snatched him up, took him to his room
and sat him on his bed and proceeded to
tell him just how disappointed I was in him.
And then I spanked him, he shed a few tears,
and then wouldn't make eye-contact with me.
{proof he inherited the stubborn gene}

It made me sick to my stomache.
Way to make me feel like a failure,
a horrible mom.

Some of you may may try to tell me
that a 3 year old can't possibly understand what he said.
But I know my kid,
and TRUST me,
he knew.
And it broke my heart.

He said his sorry and we went on with the night.

While riding in the car on the way to the family function
we had to attend, I had NO intentions of telling anyone,
because I didn't need to be told what a horrible influence
I am to my own child. The ONE word that slipped out of Parkers
mouth earlier that day had proved that to me.

and then to myself I thought....

....Why do I feel like I'm doing a terrible job?....
....Why won't he listen to a word I say?....
....Did he get that word from ME?!?....
....Maybe he got it from the movies Jeremy and I watch....
....Maybe he's heard another kid say it?....
....Oh my LORD I'm such a failure....

but of course....I blamed myself.

So when I got home and had some free time, I googled
"what to do when toddlers curse", and luckily the site in which
I read from gave me some interesting tips on what to do.

Spanking was not one of them. {oops}

I then stopped feeling bad for myself,
sucked it up,
and told myself that I'm not the only one struggling with this.

;)

H a v e. a. g r e a t. d a y.

Mothers Day!

My fourth Mothers day was perfect and simple.

Simply Perfect.

We enjoyed some yummy BBQ at

my nanas house, with my family,

followed by a trip to McFarland Park

to spend time with J's family.

{Cheesin' with my cute little gifts}

Yummy smelling candle {Yankee Candles : Fresh Water}

{I got a "HAND" made apron!!! Love it!}

I hope all of my mommy readers

had a fantastic Mothers Day!

I know I sure did!

Remy Lindsey.

I went against my apartment complex rules.......

and got a puppy.

So landlord...3 words for you.

Kiss. My. Butt.

Now I know that a few posts

back, I mentioned how terribly bad

I missed my pomeranian TeddyBear.

Which I do.

If it weren't for him not

being trained to use pads,

or go outside

{and barking too much}

I wouldn't have gotten the puppy,

and would have just brought him here.

If it weren't for me being in an apartment,

I'd have every homeless dog known to man

in my backyard.

I fell in love with a teacup chihuahua

a lady had brought along with her

to the mall.

Therefore, I HAD to find me one.

And here he is.

Mr. Remy Lindsey

He is by far the cutest thing I've ever

seen besides Parker of course.

In my opinion, dogs rock.

Dogs don't judge you for your mistakes

Dogs ALWAYS love you, unconditionally

Dogs know when you aren't yourself and try to make you feel better

It's amazing how even Gods smallest creations

can bring so much joy and comfort

to us without saying a word, yet say

everything we need to hear with just

a look; is a miracle.

Fortunate.

I haven't blogged in a while

due to my busy schedule lately

&& I have so much to talk about.

But I am going to push that

all aside for now, and talk

about something MUCH more

important.

First and foremost I can't even

begin to describe how lucky &

fortunate I am, to still have

the ones I love, and a roof over

my head.

While some people are nagging about

cable and internet being out,

remember that some people, at this

very moment, are trying to dig their

families out from under all of the debris

due to the tornados that ravaged nearby

cities/counties.

So far there are over 200 found dead,

and that number is expected to increase

quite a bit.

These are only the beginning

of the "birth pains" that is referred to in

the Bible. People lose their lives, so that

others might "wake up".

But like I said, I am fortunate to still be here,

to still have my loved ones, and to have

a roof over my head, so take some time to say

a prayer for those that have lost family,

friends and their homes.

Hug and kiss your loved ones.

Some people aren't able to do that.

Every single person that was affected

by this will remain in heart and in my prayers.

Tomorrow, tomorrow!!

As I lie in bed and...ponder on all of the

extra wonderful things

I could do tomorrow, something just kind of

STANDS out...

camera.

Parker.

cute clothes.

'nuff said.

And as you all know,

taking pictures of Parker

is my absolute favorite hobby.

Not only do I have an

awesome, fancy, KICK a camera..

I have ONE amazing,

beautiful, brilliant,

healthy, good-natured,

friendly, loving, PHOTOGENIC,

silly little rugrat.

{or in rugrat grandpa terms--whippersnapper} hehe.

My child, and my picture takin'

hobby that I discovered shortly

after having Parker, without a doubt,

go very well together.

I could not ask for a more

well-mannered and patient

child to help make my picture takin'

hobby more fun--which makes for--

cuter scrapbooks, great gifts,

more, more and MORE pictures

on my walls, and more money for this

little mama because photographers these

days are pretty dang pricey!

So....why not save up, buy you a {kick a camera}

like muah, and capture as many moments of your

{whippersnapper} that you can, whenever you want to!

Be looking forward for some super cute pictures

of MY whippersnapper, Parker Lee, tomorrow!

me.

I'm NOT a hypochondriac, I swear!

Today I am feeling down and out,

not normal,

REALLY not normal.

Considering the fact that I got

a total of 2-3 hours of sleep last night,

due to my strong urge to vomit I feel

better than I thought I would.

Today, all I have done is lay around

on the couch watching movies,

acting as if I was dying.

Jeremy thinks I am a hypochondriac.

Which I will admit, if I feel the least bit

weird, bad, SICK, I will google my symptoms

and I automatically have some kind of

infectious disease.

I am so very glad that I have him

to stick by me and take care of me

whenever I am not feeling well.

Missing my Parky!! :(

These Two.

I can always count on these two,

to remind me what matters the most.

Sunday Family Fun Day.

This past Sunday.

was the first day of Spring.

Sunshine.

Family.

Good food.

Fishin.

{Even in the dark!}

Below is cute little Caleb.

He points with his middle finger and it cracks me up!

Jeremys Uncle thats the same age as he {Chance}--& older brother {Josh}

Getting ready to eat {my fave part was Jeremy's moms potato salad, yums!}

Presh :) my parky playing with sand.

Who is that sexy fellow! MY BABY LOVE!!

{Poppa & Granny} fishing

{Nicholas and Nathaniel} jeremy's nephews.

Nicholas and Nathaniel--w/ their mommy Ashley} fishing!

{Parker and Granny} caught a fish!

At the end of the day.....

I looked up at this beautifully colored sky

and it hit me that God has truly blessed me with

such a wonderful man, and his family that cares so

much for Parker and I.

I love them all so very much!

--Allison Danielle.

It's my job to worry, right?!

So I have determined

it is a Mommas job to worry.

We worry when they're in our bellies.

Is he kicking enough?

Is he getting enough nutrients?

Is he facing the right direction?

Was that bath I took too hot?

Will he be healthy when I deliver him?

And then when they're born, we worry even more.

Is he growing enough?

Is he eating enough?

Why isn't he sitting up yet?

Should he be walking?

How long will this fever last?

Why won't he sit still?

And then now that hes toddlers,

my list of worries is magnifed!

Should I let him eat that?

How do I discipline him?

Why won't he eat meat?

or fruit?

or anything for that matter?

And I'm told "You're worrying too much..."

Right.

It's my JOB to worry.