Bringing In The New Year {Part Two}

So now that I have shared with you
the secret that I've been keeping
for a few weeks, I will share with you
when it all came about and how I'm feeling.

It was a Sunday morning
and I woke up, and it hit me.....
Uhhhh, when was the last time Aunt Flow
came to visit me? I mean, EVERY 30
days, like clockwork that grouchy hag
invades my life for a whole week.

But....

Not this month.

So, being the obsessive

"must know everything NOW"

gal that I am, I bought a $1 dollar tree

test, positive.

Bought a box of EPT with 3 tests, took all

three, positive as well.

I cried. I cried more than I have in a while.

I then imagined myself juggling a four year old

and an infant, how hard it's going to be to be

up all night and have to go to work...

How expensive it will be...

How exhausted I will be...

How stressed I will be...

How tired I will be...wait...I already said that.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared of how hard this pregnancy

will be, because so far, it's nothing like the last.

I've spent many mornings,

and even some nights hunched over the toilet,

when I never got sick once with Parker.

So, while I feel so bad, I'm scared people

will think I'm weak, that I'm not trying hard

enough, that I should just suck it up.

But I have a dream.

A dream of a house full of kiddos arguing,

and wrestling, and hugging and cuddling.

I dream of hectic weekday mornings dropping

kids off at their daily destinations.

I dream of crazy Saturdays running around between

soccer games, and baseball tournaments.

I dream of a full house, with bunk beds and toy chests

and more bicycles than we have room for.

I dream of growing old,

and waking up on Christmas to a house jam packed

with grandkids, and locking eyes with Jeremy across

the room and smiling, knowing exactly what each

others thinking. That it was all totally worth it.

Now that I have shared the news with everyone,

family, friends and of course FACEBOOK,

I can now JUMP for joy.

Here's to preparing for

No Sleep

Chubby Cheeks

Pudgy toes

Fit in the palm of your hand newborn diapers

Fuzzy Hair

Blow Outs

Puffy Lips

Feetsie PJs

And a reason to be better...

in the next several months.

Bringing In The New Year.

My New Years Resolution

is to have a more positive

outlook on life.

{Speaking of positive.........}

In 2012....

Parker will be a big brother. :)

Happy New Year!!!

Dear FOUR year old Parker (Part 2)

Well it is 1o o'clock on the dot,
and you and I are piled up in my bed
because you wanted to watch a movie in my room
{it's your favorite thing to do},
but as usual, you turn right over, snuggle up under

the covers and konk out.
I would normally pick you up and carry you to bed,
struggling to walk without falling forward, with you
in my arms, but right now I think I'm just going to
lay here with you and look at you....soak it all in.

I can't get over the way your little body now hangs
off of my legs when you are sitting in my lap...
The way your once pudgy fingers have thinned out
and are almost as big as my whole hand.

I lay here and brush the hair off of your forehead,
run my hand across your soft tummy, and gawk over
your massive eyelashes and I can't help but to giggle
as I notice that you are all snuggled up with the
power ranger sword I got you today.

Does it make me a bad mom that I talked you
into going somewhere other than McDonalds
for your birthday???.......

Surely not! Because Ricatonis is SO much better.

Although we kept it low key today, with a handful
of small gifts, your super duper four year old
bash is this Saturday and I don't know who is more
excited...you or me?

I hope you had an FANTASTIC FOURTH birthday!

Dear FOUR year old Parker :(

Today is the day.

You are officially FOUR years old,

officially almost as tall as me,

and both of those facts officially breaks my heart.

So I think it's time you slow it down a bit, mmk?

These four years have absolutely flown by my little man.

You have tested me, and taught me more about myself

and my purpose in life than I ever thought possible.

You talk NON-stop...

which leads me to look back two years ago when the only

words you ever said were most certainly another

language or if any language at all for that matter.

But then, it all came at once, and you started to talk

and I sighed....a sigh of relief.

I turn to mush on the inside when you crawl up in my

lap and we quote one of your favorite movies Tangled:

Me-"I love you Parker"

You-"I love you more"

Me-"I love you most"

Your head lay on my chest and your legs and feet hang

off of my legs which makes me sad because you once were

no bigger than my arm.

I like to sneak-a-peak every now and then and laugh

at your bed headwhen you are sleeping peacefully and

as I watch you, I imagine the boy that you will become.

I imagine you bringing home your homemade mothers

day cards and macaroni necklaces. I imagine you learning

to ride a bike and swinging a golf club like tiger woods.

I imagine saying NO on school nights, and baseball games.

I imagine you coming home from school with your first broken

heart. I imagine homecoming dances, prom, and then college visits.

And while I know things might not just turn out just as I imagine, I do

know that I want the life for you that YOU imagine.

That would make me the happiest mama in the world.

I already see the beginnings of qualities in you that make

me so proud. I try to remember the things that drive me

CRAZY at times, are likely to develope into some of your

strongest, most positive characteristics.

Today for your birthday, I am at work which kills me,

but you are spending the day with your daddy and then tonight,

JJ, Nonna, Pawpaw, Aunt Courtney and Myself & whoever

else wants to go are taking you to eat.

Last night I asked you where you wanted to go eat for

your birthday and you replied, "Uuummm..McDonalds."

Although I was thinking along the lines of OUTBACK or

something, it is YOUR birthday so if you want to go to

McDonalds..........McDonalds it is!

Happy Birthday Little Man.

STOP GROWING!

I love you to infinity and beyond!

--Mama

Newness.

WHOA.

It has literally been two months

since I've been on this thing.

It hasn't even crossed my mind.

At all.

Miss me much?

I thought so. :)

While there is so much that has

happened in the past two months,

{the last time I blogged}

there is a LOT that has happened

in the past SIX months, that I have

failed to mention.

1.) Jeremy, myself and Parker moved from

an apartment into a house.

{whew!}

The day we signed the papers on

our house, I was so excited!

But while I was excited THAT day,

I knew once I got all of the pictures

off the walls, everything was packed up,

and that little apartment was empty, that

I'd get all mushy gushy about leaving behind

the place where we, together as a little family

called "home". Our first home.

.....and as annoying as the stomping above our

heads in the wee hours of the night was, and

as LOUD as our crazy neighbors were,

That apartment kind of marked our beginning,

and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Now that we are in our house, I couldn't be more

happy with our decision to move. We have fabulous

neighbors, a front yard AND a back yard, THREE dogs

and of course peaceful sleeping.

{Four things we DIDN'T have at the apartment}

2.) Jeremy luckily landed a job at Comcast full time

and loves it. I love it too, because when the cable goes

out due to a storm, all he's got to do is call up

his buddy on maintence and he comes right out

and fixes it, pronto!

Which leads to a happy Parker

because for SOME reason everytime

it storms, he starts to sob, asking to turn

the TV over to the Weather Channel.

...and he pretends to understand what

all of the green...whatever...floating across

the screen is.

I believe he will be a meteorologist, since

his attentiveness to the weather is insane.

I am extremely glad Jeremy found a job that

does not require travel.

Just call him Jeremy The Cable Guy...... :) :)

3.) I, being EXTREMELY lucky for like the first

time ever, also landed a full time job. Working at

a lawfirm, for FOUR lawyers. I love love love my

job. Words cannot describe how much I love it!

In fact, I love it so much I took pictures!

Fancy Shmancy huh....ha!

My desk.

copy room.

Filing room.

Files that need to be filed but are not because I'm working on this...

eek!!

Heres to new adventures and change! :)

....

it's almost friday. yipeee!

I'm THAT mom. :)

Turns out, I'm THAT mom.

You know, the one who before

she was a mom, had a list a mile

long of all the things she SWORE

she would never do with her own

baby.

The one who, before becoming a mom,

silently judged other moms, as I passed

them by in Walmart or wherever,while

their child lays on the floor, flailing about

and screaming because they don't want

to get back in the buggy, or they want a toy.

{I remember looks on all of the moms faces all too well}

Some moms frantic, and anxious to do anything

in their power to get their baby to just BE QUIET.

Quivering in their voices as they played both

sides of the conversation between themselves

and their baby:

Do you want sippy cup?--no

Elmo?--no

Blankie?--no

Passy?--no

Do you just want to embarrass me in a store full of watchful eyes?

--YES.

Other moms are unfazed.

They simply go about with their

shopping as if their child wasn't making a complete spectacle of himself.

Almost as if they are denying ownership of the monster on the floor.

Nearly seeing the thoughts of the moms,

{by the look on their faces}

maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away.

Flash foward 3 years,

as I juggle my own child,

it is only on occasion that I have

to receive my punishment for passing judgement.

So since becoming a mom,

I have been both of the moms described above

atleast once, especially when Parker was in his

younger "terrible two" stage.

And I can tell you,

that neither of the above methods worked with

quieting him.

Then I went through a phase where when

he did act like that, I'd snatch him up from the

ground, leaving behind whatever was in my buggy,

and go home, where he could be a monster...

without the judgement of others.

And I added that experience to the list:

the list of the type of mom, I swore I would never be, with a child who does things I swore no child of mine would ever do.

And in case you were wondering, that list goes on,

such as:

Wear light up shoes.

Over eat candy.

Make my living room a play yard.

Go out in public barefooted.

And more shining moments.

After three years, as an official mom,

I realize that I am THAT mom,

the one who will tell you that

even on the worst days...................

it's all SO totally worth it.

Hello Summer. :)

Hello Summer.

Hello days under the blazing hot sun - and marshmellow fluff clouds.

Hello sun-kissed cheeks filled with fresh freckles.

Hello grassy shoe-less toddler toes.


Hello firefly, frog and other summer creature searching.

Hello to not your everyday seen summer creature chilling in your front yard.

Hello dirty body - hair to toe.

Hello to a fellow who prefers to sit on the side with his feet in the pool instead of swimming...

until he finally gets in...and then it's impossble to get him out.


Hello crazy lake mansions that I love to gawk at (and imagine I live in)

and hello to all of the summer nights spent with people that mean the most.

64 Days Until Fall.

if i counted right.. :)