Looking back and remembering when.

Dear Parker,

You are officially 3 years old going on like 13. You're energy completely exhausts me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I look back over these past 3 years, I realize how fast this whole parenting business goes {way too fast if you ask me}, which is why I have taken the time today to look back and remember when!

I remember the first time I felt you move in my belly, kind of like a flurry of butterflies. && I remember the hell you put me through the last few months with heartburn and acid reflux.

I remember when I finished decorating your nursery, and had already had my baby showers. I went through all of the new clothes, hung them in color code, and by sizes, rearranged the furnature 20 times. And sat in my glider-rocker thinking {what now????}

I remember the day you were born and melted my heart the first time I saw you. You were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I realized just how much I loved you and I worried that I could possibly never love another baby this much {but I will. :) I promise future babies}

I remember panicking the whole entire drive home from the hospital as your tiny body sunk down in what seemed like your massive car-seat. Worried that every jostile the car made would for sure give you brain damage.

I remember I was overwhelmed by all of the family and friends that came by to see you. I spent a few hours in my room crying. I just wanted you to myself for a while.

I remember falling asleep cuddled up together during those all too frequent middle of the night feedings.

I remember the first time you smiled just for me and when you learned to wrap your itty bitty little fingers around mine--and you haven't stopped smiling since.

I remember when I could set you on the bed and then walk away for a moment and be sure you would be in the exact spot where I left you.

I remember the bittersweet day of boxing up all your newborn clothes because you were too big for them {sometimes I sneak open the box and go through your teeny clothes and remember just how little you once were}. They even smell the same.

I remember your first wobbly steps gripping the grass with your toes, the day you turned 9 months old. I was so excited and videoed every step until you were tired.

I remember when I was able to change your diaper with ease as you smiled up at me from your changing table. Then a few months later, feeling like a professional wrestler pinning you down as I struggled to close the flaps. Now all I have to do is put your favorite character underwear on you everyday.

I remember your constant explosion of personality, curiosity, and energy that you have always had, and probably will always have.

 

I remember all of those times you grabbed my face and laid a giant, slobbery, open mouth kiss on my lips.

As you continue to grow into a big boy, I will always remember baby fingers, your beautiful blue eyes and massive eyelashes, your pudgy toes, your contagious smile, your button nose, your belly button, your chubby little legs, your pot belly, and your infectious laugh--I remember and cherish all of these tiny details and precious moments, each and every day.  
 

And I can tell you that there is no one in the world I would rather be than your mommy.