I SHOULD be...

I should be doing laundry right now.

I should be cleaning out all of the left overs in the fridge from last week...

and the week before.

I should be cleaning period. In every room.

I should be trying a little harder to get this scribble drawn LADDER on my SUEDE couch out.

I should be pricing all of Parkers clothes for Dittos for Kiddos. Deadline is Monday. Haven't even started.

But most importantly I should be SLEEPING.

If I don't get my full 1293294 hrs of sleep, I am one ILL little momma.

&& if momma aint happy

aint nobody happy.

Instead I am blogging at 11:17.

I am blogging to keep my sanity. I am blogging to hold on to that last shred of time that is ALL mine.

Whats on my mind tonight?

{When am I going to try letting Parker sleep in underwear again?}

{When do other mommas start the overnight thing with their kids?}

{Is three too young?}

{Or am I way behind?}

Ahhhhhh!!!!

It's questions and thoughts like these that.....plague a mommy-in-training. This is something they don't prepare you for when you're pregnant. No one tells you that you will feel like the biggest failure, but the biggest success at the same time. No one tells you that you will feel helpless when you don't have all the answers. No one tells you about the overwhelming fear and anxiety you have for your childs health and future. No one tells you that about the guilt you will have when you lose all patience. All anyone tells you is {this will be the hardest thing you ever do.}

And then just when I think that I have nothing else to give--I remember this..

and this

and this

Then I do my best and snap out of it and remind myself of this saying

"Nothing worth having comes easy."

and I can tell you that, for me, there is nothing more worth than having my little family.